I Hate…

• I hate formal ‘networking events.’ The ones where you have to ‘work a room.’
• I hate ‘networking breaks’ at seminars and conferences where you have people madly collecting business cards and staring over your shoulder (instead of looking and listening to you) to see who else they can exchange business cards with after they’ve finished with you.
• I  hate breakfast networking events – I’m a night owl and so prefer to avoid early morning appointments and events wherever possible.
• I hate blogs where the people taking part in conversations are simply there to self promote: comments such as “Hey great article! By the way, your readers should take a look at my 6 part course on xyz – follow this link now!” (I never ever click on those links).
• I hate networking with anyone that doesn’t say ‘thank you.’ Good manners cost nothing. Bad manners tell me lots about the other person. 
• And don’t ask me why, but I don’t really like Facebook – it’s just not my thing.

I Love..

• I love hanging out in coffee shops and hotel lounges with nice sofas to catch up with friends and professional contacts.
• I love going for drinks in cool bars where you can actually hear yourself speak – especially if they’ve got nice sofas (..as you can see, it’s all about the sofas for me!).
• I love pinging an email or a LinkedIn note to introduce two people in my network who I think may be able to help each other. Not because I want a ‘kick back’ or a favour; but because I enjoy connecting people. And as a by product of this, I strengthen my relationship with them
• I love sitting in the lounge at my local gym (on a comfy sofa off course) with my Blackberry and emailing or calling people I haven’t spoken to for a while just to say “hey, long time no speak – how are things?” 
• I love catching up with old friends over an informal dinner
• I love LinkedIn – not sure why, but I feel more at home there than on Facebook
• I love blogs where there is an exchanging of ideas, resources, opinions and debate in the comments sections. A genuine desire to add to the content/discussion rather than it being all about self gain and self promotion.
• I think I’ll eventually get to love Twitter - I just need to spend more time there

Networking With Authenticity Is Effortless

I find networking effortless because I choose those networking activities that play to my strengths and natural style. So instead of it being a chore – it’s fun. Anything that is fun is effortless. And any activity that is effortless, is more likely to yield the results you want.

I mean, who says networking “should” involve going to fancy ‘networking events’ and ‘working a room?’ That’s just one version.

Networking is all about establishing and developing genuine relationships – you can’t build genuine relationships if you feel really uncomfortable and a bit of a fraud. So network in a way that feels natural and authentic to you and you’ll build deeper relationships and be better placed to attract the kind of results you want.

How To Network Effortlessly

1. Choose the networking activities you love

Those networking activities (or relationship building activities), that you really enjoy. The ones that come naturally to you and have always come naturally to you.

2. Avoid networking acitivities which you hate 

Activities which don’t suit your style and make you think “that’s just not me.”

3. Be honest with yourself

There’s a big difference between activities which are not your natural style – and activities which you’re scared to try out because they are outside your comfort zone.

So yes, play to strengths – but please don’t use this article as an excuse to avoid testing your comfort zone!

4. Keep a close eye on these 21 networking tips 

1. Focus on networking with your warmest contacts FIRST 

2. Be clear about your objectives and what you want (and don’t want)

3. Be generous in sharing ideas, resources, contacts

4. Don’t keep score

5. Be yourself

6. Ask lots of open questions – who? what? how? when?

7. Network with a wide range of contacts outside your immediate connections 

8. Ensure you have an online presence and are using social media platforms to establish an online brand (Eg LinkedIn.com, start a blog etc)

9. Take a genuine interest in other people, their challenges and their goals (and not just your own needs)

10. Be systematic

11. Listen twice as much as you talk

12. Focus on the quality of relationships rather than the number of contacts you’ve got

13. Keep asking “How can I help you?” rather than “How can you help me?

14. Share and help others without expecting anything back

15. Keep nudging yourself outside your confort zone 

16. Limit the time you spend on social media platforms. They can be great fun, but also a great drain on your time

17. Be spontaneous

18. If you’re not going to follow up religiously, don’t bother networking

19. Think long term relationships rather than short term job leads and opportunities

20. Don’t try and follow every tip on this list

21. Instead just incorporate ONE tip from above. Then another. Then another… 

By Sital Ruparelia